


Happy Workplace Accidents

by bevmantle



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Dry Humping, HEV suit shenanigans, Hand Jobs, Kinda?, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Canon, Tenderness, Trans Barney Calhoun, Trans Character, Trans Gordon Freeman, Trans porn by a trans author, i just. really wanted to write some nice t4t fic lol, okay theres like... the vaguest semblance of plot but. yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:07:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27223234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bevmantle/pseuds/bevmantle
Summary: Gordon's HEV suit gets jammed while he's training. Luckily, Barney's there to help.
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 9
Kudos: 172





	Happy Workplace Accidents

**Author's Note:**

> no minors please and thank you!
> 
> gordon and barney are both trans masc and i alternate between various terms for genitalia. also yes the HEV suit mechanics are just a lil bit corny but you know what i did my best to make it as true-to-canon as possible and thats all we can ask for i think
> 
> shoutout to my friend tigo for beta n moral support!

“Hey, uh,” Barney said, kicking his legs against the crate he was sitting on. “So how much longer they got you doin’ this for today, anyway?”

Gordon huffed, focusing on his vertical jump drills. He concentrated, hopping up onto a ledge and back off again, the heavy boots of his HEV suit hitting the ground with a _clang._ “Only another fifteen minutes or so,” he said, panting a little. “Why? Am I boring you or something, Barn?”

Barney rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, Doc, much as I love watchin’ you jump up and down for the better part of an hour, I was kinda hoping to grab a beer after my shift. Now they got me out here babysitting you—which, don’t get me wrong, is preferable to shadowing Sisk on rounds _again—_ but the thing is, us guards don’t make much and happy hour only goes till seven, so…” He grinned. “Whaddya think, am I gonna make it on time?”

Gordon laughed, completing another jump before he answered. “If you don’t, drinks are on me.”

“Gord, I still owe ya from last time,” Barney griped. “You can’t just keep treatin’ me. I wanna take _you_ out one of these days, y’know?”

“I don’t care who pays,” Gordon said, hopping up onto the ledge with a grunt. “It’s not like it’s, y’know, a _date._ It’s just drinks.” He hopped down. “Besides, like you said, I make more than you anyway. It’s fine.”

Barney kicked his legs again, not saying anything. Gordon did another two jumps.

“Would you wanna do that?” Barney asked.

“Do what?” Gordon said, jumping up.

“You know,” Barney said, scratching at his jaw under his helmet strap. “A date.”

Gordon lost his footing on the ledge and slipped a little bit on the dismount. He fell backwards with a crash.

“Shit, Gordon!” Barney was next to him in a flash. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Gordon said, sounding somewhat dazed. He looked tired, and was probably bruised to hell under the HEV suit, but otherwise seemed okay. Barney helped him sit up, guiding him with a hand on the suit’s back plate.

“Jeez, you hit the ground pretty hard. Good thing you’re wearin’ that tin can,” Barney said.

“Yeah,” Gordon said again, shaking his head a little. “Don’t...don’t joke like that while I’m drilling next time.” He stood, then reached a hand down to help Barney up. “I think that’s probably enough for today, anyway.”

Barney blinked. Then he cracked a smile. “Ha. Yeah. Sorry.” He looked away, then back at Gordon. “Need a hand with the suit?”

Gordon tilted his head and stretched his neck, joints popping loudly. “You know I do, Barney. You don’t have to ask every time.”

Barney rolled his eyes, stepping into Gordon’s space. “It’s called _manners,_ asshole.” He slapped Gordon’s hands out of the way lightly as Gordon laughed.

“Damn,” Barney grunted, trying and failing to disengage one of the latches on the back of the HEV suit. “You always wear this thing so tight?”

“Huh?” Gordon asked, twisting to try and see what Barney meant.

“Quit movin’ so much. Hang on.” Barney struggled with the latches for another moment, not getting anywhere. “Ah, shit.”

“What? What happened?” Gordon asked, still trying to turn around.

Barney gritted his teeth, still pushing against the metal. “The damn latch is jammed shut.”

“Oh. Well...it shouldn’t be.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Gordon rolled his eyes. “Okay, so...what, then?”

Barney eyed Gordon’s torso warily. “Honestly? I have no idea. Must’ve got stuck when you fell.”

“There’s no failsafe?”

“Failsafe?” Barney’s brow furrowed. “I don’t think so. They tell you that?”

“No, I mean—I kinda just assumed there’d be a, a disengage-all button. Or something.”

“Yeah, well, you know what they say about assuming, Doc. Anyway, I don’t think so. Far as I know it’s all meant to be analog,” Barney said. “In case...well, uh. In case something goes wrong.”

Gordon looked unimpressed. “Can’t you just pry me out of it or something?”

“What, and get slapped with a charge for damaging company equipment? No thanks.”

Gordon groaned. “Come on, Barney, I don’t want to be stuck in the suit any longer than I have to! This shit is _heavy.”_

“Hey, look,” Barney said, giving up on the latches on Gordon’s back and moving to stand in front of him instead. “Don’t worry, okay? We’re gonna get you out of there. Worst comes to worst, we march you down to Kleiner’s office and have _him_ pry you out of it.”

Gordon made a face, then sighed. “Okay. Yeah.”

Barney slapped Gordon’s cheek lightly with his hand. “Chin up, Doc. It’s gonna be fine.” He let his palm rest for a moment against Gordon’s face. Gordon’s eyes slid shut almost involuntarily at the touch, only opening again when it was suddenly withdrawn. Barney was looking at him, cheeks tinged pink.

“Sorry,” Barney said. “I should, uh, try the other latches, probably.” Without any sort of warning, Barney dropped to his knees.

Gordon’s mouth was drier than the desert. “The—the other latches?”

Barney was genuinely blushing now, looking up at Gordon through dark lashes. “Don’t get any ideas, now, I swear I’m not usually this easy.” He was joking, but his voice was rough. He cleared his throat. “Um, but actually. The other latches around, uh—by the hip plate.”

“Oh. Those latches,” Gordon managed. Neither of them moved.

“Uh, so—” Barney said. “You mind?”

Gordon exhaled and shook his head. “No—no, it’s fine. Uh, do whatever you think will work.”

Barney eyed Gordon’s crotch, then leaned forward. “Okay. Sorry if this is weird.”

Gordon sucked in a breath as Barney’s hands trailed over the leg plates. He couldn’t feel Barney through the suit—that would be ridiculous, the plates were metal and they were _thick—_ but there was still something so soft, so intimate, about the way Barney’s fingers slid deftly over the ridges and vents.

“Lemme try to—uh,” Barney said, trying to feel around for the latch, hand bumping repeatedly into the HEV suit’s codpiece. “Sorry, Gord—I can’t—can’t find the, uh—”

Gordon could hear his own pulse pounding in his ears, and his ragged breaths sounded loud in the otherwise quiet training facility.

Barney grunted. “Damn, guess this one’s on pretty tight, too.” He sat back on his heels, resting his hands on Gordon’s thighs almost without thinking about it, considering whether he should keep trying or just bite the bullet and get Kleiner to fix it.

Gordon was trying to keep a handle on himself, emotionally and—well, physically. Maybe it was the proximity; maybe it was because he hadn’t been touched by anyone else in God only knew how long. Maybe it was the tenderness of Barney’s hands on his legs. Maybe it was just Barney. He’d be lying if he said he’d never thought about it before, having Barney between his legs. Obviously in his fantasies the situation had been different, but... Gordon felt his face get hot. Barney blinked up at him, and Gordon couldn’t feel it, not really, but he caught the small motion that was Barney’s fingers tightening around his thighs.

“You okay, Doc?” Barney asked, and his voice was filled with so much genuine concern that Gordon just blushed harder. “Gordon?”

Gordon felt part of the HEV suit suddenly whirr to life. It beeped twice before announcing, “Vital signs elevated. Administering stress relief.”

Gordon sucked in a breath, and he looked down at the panel on his chest, trying and failing spectacularly to remember what stupid-complicated button sequence would disengage the stress relief functions.

“Uh...what’s—?” Barney started, cutting himself off when Gordon shook his head, flipping the button panel shut with one hand and holding up the other in a clear gesture of _Not now._ In the ensuing silence, they both heard it: the tiniest, almost-too-quiet buzzing coming from—from the—

Barney’s eyes widened, and he leaned closer to Gordon’s legs to listen, Gordon doing everything in his power to not buck his hips forward.

“Holy shit,” Barney said. “Doc, are you—now, hang on. You’re tellin’ me the HEV suit is—”

Gordon gritted his teeth. “Hah. Yeah. It’s, uh—” he stopped as the vibration increased in power momentarily. “Oh _fuck,”_ he hissed. “Ah. Um. Barney, I—I’m sorry, this is really, uh—”

Barney was beet-red. “It’s okay,” he said. “I...well, shit, Gordon, I didn’t even know it could do that.” He seemed to realize all of a sudden what position he was in, and he pulled his hands off Gordon’s thighs like he’d been burned, then jumped up and wiped them off on his uniform slacks. He stared at Gordon, whose face was glowing with a faint sheen of sweat. “Shit,” Barney said again. “I’ll—I’ll get outta here and give you some space, okay, Gord? You can come find me, uh, when you’re done, and—and I’ll walk you over to Kleiner’s, alright?”

“Wait,” Gordon said, sounding breathless. “Wait. Barney. Can—would you—” He squeezed his eyes shut tight for a moment, then opened them again, reaching out with one hand to clutch Barney’s wrist. Barney hesitated, looking from Gordon’s hand to his hips to his face. “Stay,” Gordon said. “Please.”

“Oh,” Barney said, sounding surprised. He watched Gordon shake against the wall. “Uh, you—you want me here? You’re sure?”

Gordon nodded, too overcome by sensation to speak. He tugged at Barney’s wrist again, pulling him closer as he let himself fall back. Barney unclipped his helmet and dropped it on the ground before bracing himself against the wall, bracketing Gordon’s head with his arms. Gordon dipped his chin, eyes drifting closed with a little sigh.

Barney licked his lips, still nervous. “Does it feel good?”

“Mm. Yeah,” Gordon said. He reached forward, grasping at the straps of Barney’s vest.

“Tell me about it?” Barney suggested. He traced the shape of Gordon’s jaw with one hand, his fingers trailing over the back of Gordon’s ear and coming to rest at the nape of his neck.

Gordon squeezed his eyes shut like he was concentrating. “Okay. It’s...um...it’s a lot. It’s more—more powerful than my vibrator, actually. I—oh God—ah _—fuck!”_ Gordon clenched his teeth, pulling Barney flush against the HEV suit and pushing his face into Barney’s neck. “It’s just, like, touching my dick and it won’t stop fucking _teasing me!”_

Barney swallowed, trying not to imagine Gordon at home with his vibrator, trying not to imagine Gordon’s dick, trying not to let the moment be anything more than it was. Instead, he petted Gordon’s hair, which had come out of its tiny ponytail and was pretty much all Barney could reach that wasn’t covered by the suit. “It’s okay, Doc,” he said, hoping he sounded reassuring. “You’re doin’ good.”

Gordon groaned, shoving his leg forward and bucking his hips against Barney’s, trying to get some sort of friction despite the metal that separated them. “Fuck. I wanna cum so bad, Barn.”

Well damn if that didn’t go _right_ to Barney’s dick. Barney tightened his hand in Gordon’s hair, tugging his head back so he could look him in the eye. Gordon’s pupils were blown wide, nearly black.

“You close?” Barney asked, in a near-whisper.

“Yeah,” Gordon said. “Yes. Yeah. I want—oh fuck,” he whimpered as the vibration picked up again. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, right there, right _there,_ f—nonono, come _on!”_

Barney scratched at his scalp, feeling somewhat helpless but appreciating the way Gordon pressed up into his hand just the tiniest bit.

The suit whirred suddenly, a different noise from before.

“Uh—?” Barney glanced down, as if he could see what was happening inside.

Gordon looked confused. “It stopped, but I didn’t—” He broke off with a gasp. “Oh. _Oh._ Okay. That’s—okay. Hah, fuck, _Barney.”_

Barney pulled back like he’d been scalded. “You okay? What’s happening?”

“It’s—” Gordon’s face cycled through a number of expressions before settling on one that could only be described as relieved. “No, it’s okay, I—the suit’s, uh. It’s—it’s fucking me.” The vibration started up again with a low hum, and Gordon canted his hips in a broken sort of rhythm. “God, _yes,_ fucking—finally. Ah! _Fuuuuck_ yes.”

“Hey, uh—y’got lube in there, and stuff?” Barney asked.

Gordon shook his head. “Don’t need it,” he panted. “I’m—ah! There was a lot of—hah, oh fuck—foreplay? I’m really wet.”

“Huh,” Barney said. “Okay.” He listened for a moment as Gordon whined at a particularly deep thrust, then spoke up again. “Man, you’re really enjoyin’ this, huh?”

“Might as well, I guess. Feels good.” Gordon looked up at Barney through half-lidded eyes. “Wish it was you.”

Barney felt his heart stop. Then he looked to the side, giving a nervous laugh. “Flatterer. Just sayin’ that ‘cause you’re horny.”

Gordon blinked. “No, I mean it.”

“Yeah?” Barney chewed on the inside of his cheek, debating whether or not to keep talking. “How come you didn’t wanna go out with me, then?”

“I thought you were joking!” Gordon said. “I saw—ughhh, _yes—_ I saw you ask Marie from the propulsion lab out for coffee two days ago.”

Barney ducked his head into his shoulder, snorting.

“Something funny?” Gordon asked, clearly trying to sound plaintive but betrayed by the waver in his voice.

“That wasn’t a _date,”_ Barney said. “I was offering to replace the coffee that she dropped, because I bumped into her, because I was staring at _you_ from across the hall.”

“Oh,” Gordon said. He might have been blushing, but his face was already flushed from exertion, so it was difficult to say. “Mmh—ah. Hah. Hmm. Think I’m—”

“Oh,” Barney echoed, taking in Gordon’s expression. “You gonna—?”

“Yeah,” Gordon gasped. “Yeah, I think I am.”

“Well, okay,” Barney said, running a hand through Gordon’s hair, dragging his fingers down Gordon’s neck, scratching him lightly with his dull nails. “That’s fine, Gordon, I gotcha.”

“Hnh—c’mere,” Gordon grabbed at Barney’s vest again and pulled him in, pressing their mouths together and licking across Barney’s lips. They broke apart suddenly as Gordon gave a short, high-pitched whine, his whole body shaking and eyes rolled back, gloved hands still fisted in Barney’s clothes.

After a beat, Gordon relaxed and went slack against the wall, his breathing ragged.

The HEV suit gave three beeps, and then announced, “Stress levels normalized.”

Barney and Gordon locked eyes, then both dissolved into peals of laughter.

“Hey, Gordon,” Barney said eventually, wiping tears from his eyes, “I—look, I don’t want this to be weird, okay, but I—I really wanna—” He broke off with a huff and shook his head. “Sorry. I don’t even know how to begin to ask you this.”

“It’s already really weird,” Gordon said. “Try me.”

Barney nodded. “Okay. Sure. Um...you mind if I…?” He looked down at Gordon’s thigh, which was still pressed between his own legs, then back up at Gordon.

“Oh,” Gordon said. “You wanna get off too? Yeah. Go for it.”

Barney blushed. “Thanks.” He rocked his hips forward, feeling the friction of the HEV suit against his dick even through the layers of clothes he was still wearing. “Fuck, Gordon,” he said.

“Feels good?” Gordon asked. Barney nodded, eyes shut tight. “Keep going, Barn, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Barney rubbed against Gordon’s thigh, the ridges of the HEV suit's thigh piece rubbing against his dick in a way that toed the line between pleasure and pain. Barney groaned.

“Wow, you were really into that, huh?” Gordon said, tone nearly conversational. “Gonna cum like that? Without even taking your pants off?”

Barney stopped for a moment to glare at him. “Not much sexy ‘bout accidentally getting my dick stuck in one of your stupid vents, Gordon.”

Gordon snorted. “Take your pants off and I’ll jerk you off.”

Barney’s eyes went wide, and he stepped back so he could undo his belt. He unzipped his fly, then pushed both his slacks and his briefs down to his knees.

“Fucking gorgeous, Barn,” Gordon said, voice fond.

Barney looked away, embarrassed. “Dunno ‘bout that.”

Gordon shook his head, then beckoned Barney closer so he could touch him. “Just take the compliment.”

Barney exhaled. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks.”

Gordon glided a gloved finger over Barney’s folds, watching him shiver. He wrapped his thumb and index finger around Barney’s clit and massaged it gently.

“Just get me off, please,” Barney said. “I’m not gonna last long and I don’t want to, either, Gord, I just wanna—wanna finish and go change so we can go get the suit off ya.”

“Bossy,” Gordon chided, but reached over with his other hand to slip a finger into Barney while he jacked him off.

Barney inhaled sharply. “Fuck, that’s good.” He wrapped his arms around Gordon’s neck, letting most of his weight fall against the HEV suit. It was a little uncomfortable, but the rhythmic motion of Gordon’s hands more than made up for it. Barney grunted. “Yeah. Just—just like that.”

Gordon exposed the tip of Barney’s dick and pressed a finger flat against it, smirking when Barney hissed.

“Ah, fuck! Gordon! Can you just—”

Gordon twisted the finger inside Barney and went back to jacking him off. “What was that?”

“Jackass,” Barney huffed, squirming around, trying to get more friction. “Oh—yeah—mm, yes—” His hips stuttered, and Barney came without much fanfare, collapsing forward against Gordon’s chest. Gordon slipped his finger out of Barney and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing once as Barney caught his breath.

“Okay, lemme—hang on,” Barney said, pulling back reluctantly. “Hot as that was, I don’t really wanna be cuddling the suit.” He turned and stretched his arms, Gordon’s eyes shamelessly locked on his ass. Barney turned back, giving Gordon a _look_ as he pulled his pants back up and buckled his belt. “How do I look?”

“Like you just got fucked,” Gordon said.

Barney massaged his temples with one hand. “Shut up.”

Gordon snorted. “C’mon, let’s go find Kleiner so we can both change. Still wanna grab that drink?”

“You kidding me? We already had sex, Gordon, we can go out some other time. I just want to take a shower and pass out,” Barney said, then paused. “But...if you wanted to stay over, I wouldn’t—wouldn’t say no. Your dorm is nicer, though… Hmm. Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Gordon laughed again. “Sure, Barney. You can stay over at my place.” He turned to leave, and Barney’s eyes widened.

“Oh, shit! Wait, wait, Gordon, hang on—” Gordon turned, confused, and Barney reached over and pressed a tiny, tiny button that had been half-hidden in Gordon’s armpit. The HEV suit hissed, and one after another, the latches on the back detached as the chest plate unlocked and came apart. Gordon let it fall with a _clang._ He raised an eyebrow at Barney.

“Forgot about the—huh, well. The failsafe,” Barney said, sounding sheepish.

Gordon heaved a sigh, then started shucking off the rest of the pieces.

**Author's Note:**

> i cant believe i was working on this (entirely self indulgent) fic for like a month and another t4t freehoun fic was published literally the day before i finished it.. trans ppl stay winning! anyway thanks 4 reading, please leave a comment if u liked it thank youu


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